i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
