A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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