i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
