so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sext me about skeletons
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
