he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
