I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
