they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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