I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
