we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
