Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
