I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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