soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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