Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
