So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
