she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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