Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
