i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
