we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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