I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
