Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize