Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just high enough for therapy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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