I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
