benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
