okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
