So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
