living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize