I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
