i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
