I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
