I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
