I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
