maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
