We're like a lot better than the average bears
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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