so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
