Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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