her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
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