i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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