Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
