i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
