he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
