The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
