She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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