there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
is that a dick in a sweater?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
ok first of all what the fuck
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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