do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
