Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just google imaged poop.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize