I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
