Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize