So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
