What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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