im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
