At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
