that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
