she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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