she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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