why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
