Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
